Setting Healthy Boundaries During the Holidays

Healthy boundaries and realistic expectations are essential for protecting mental health during the holiday season. Boundaries help safeguard your time, energy, emotional well-being, and personal space, while expectations influence how you feel the holidays “should” go. To support the community during this busy time, Manning Regional Healthcare Center (MRHC) is sharing tips to help individuals navigate these pressures and encourages anyone experiencing increased mental health concerns to seek professional support.

“The holidays are viewed as a joyful season, but the pressure to be happy can increase stress, especially for those already managing mental health conditions,” said MRHC Mental Health Counselor Hollie Schechinger, LISW. “This expectation can heighten feelings of depression or anxiety this time of year.”

When boundaries are unclear or expectations become unrealistic, individuals may experience guilt, heightened stress, and emotional fatigue. Clear boundaries and realistic expectations promote emotional stability and healthier holiday traditions. To support this, MRHC encourages individuals to intentionally establish boundaries, adjust expectations, and implement practical strategies that foster a more balanced and meaningful holiday season.

Types of Healthy Boundaries

  • Emotional Boundaries: Protecting emotional safety by taking breaks when needed.
    Example: “I need a few minutes to step away and take a break.”
  • Time and Energy Boundaries: Setting limits on availability or participation.
    Example: “I can come for a bit, but I’ll need to leave by 6:00.”
  • Role Boundaries: Adjust caregiving, hosting, or “doing it all” expectations.
    Example: “I can help set the table, but I can’t host this year.”
  • Conversation Boundaries: Redirect or decline topics that are stressful or triggering.
    Example: “Let’s focus on positive memories today instead of difficult topics.”
  • Physical/Sensory Boundaries: Honor comfort, mobility, and health needs.
    Example: “I need a chair with back support.”

Realistic Expectations to Hold

  • Expect Mixed Emotions: Gratitude and grief, joy and loneliness, connection and stress can all exist at once.
  • Expect Imperfection: Awkward silences, burnt food, last-minute changes, or tension are normal and do not mean failure.
  • Expect Energy Limits: Fatigue may occur more quickly, and taking breaks or leaving early may be appropriate.
  • Expect People to Be Themselves: Family members may continue their usual patterns, and individuals can focus on adjusting their own response regardless of others’ behavior.
  • Expect Your Needs to Matter: Participation itself is meaningful; contribution does not require perfectionism or taking on excessive tasks.

Practical Strategies for Navigating Boundaries & Expectations

  • Use “gentle but direct” phrases:
    “I’m going to pass on discussing that topic.”
    “Thank you for thinking of me, but that doesn’t work for me.”
    “I need a little space; I’ll rejoin in a bit.”
  • Practice “short & kind” responses when explanations aren’t needed:
    “No, thank you.”
    “Not this year.”
    “I’m taking care of myself today.”
  • Prepare a backup plan:
    A quiet room to step away to, a supportive person to sit with, have transportation available if an early exit is needed, or a list of “safe topics.”
  • Release the pressure to please everyone:
    Use the mantra: “I’m responsible for how I show up, not for how others feel.”
  • Normalize taking breaks:
    Join in the moments that feel good, sit near an exit if that helps, take slow breaths, or step out for a short walk when things feel heavy.
  • Focus on today, not the past:
    Stay present, let go of old roles or wounds, and create new traditions that fit your current reality.

Healthy boundaries and realistic expectations can make the holidays feel more manageable and emotionally safe. However, if feelings of sadness, anxiety, or stress begin to interfere with daily routines, seeking professional support is important. For those who are struggling, MRHC offers a range of mental health services for individuals of all ages:

Counseling Services: Available in person or virtually for individuals 12 and older. Call (712) 655-2072 to schedule an appointment.

Play Therapy: Supports children five and older dealing with stressful or traumatic experiences. Call (712) 655-2072 to schedule an appointment.

Senior Life Solutions: Group therapy for individuals 65+ struggling with anxiety, depression, or life transitions. Call (712) 655-8262 for support.

The Recovery Center: Residential and outpatient treatment for substance use concerns. Call the Recovery Center at (712) 655-2300 for help.

If you or someone you know is in immediate distress, contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text or call 988 for confidential, 24/7 support.

Mental Wellness Tips for Happier Holidays

sad old man at Christmas

The holidays are not the same for everyone. This time of year can trigger stress, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness. Some people are excited to share Christmas with loved ones, while others are mourning a loss. Some are out shopping for the perfect gifts, but others may be struggling financially and anxiously checking their bank accounts. Some can’t wait for their yearly Christmas party with friends and family, others may be stressed by just the thought of it.

At MRHC, we recognize the importance of mental well-being, especially this time of year when pressures and stress can intensify. Here are some practical tips you can implement to help prioritize your mental health during the holidays.

Establish realistic expectations. It’s easy to feel pressured to create a picture-perfect holiday. Remember, it’s okay not to meet unrealistic standards. Set achievable goals and focus on enjoying meaningful moments rather than perfection.

Maintain routine and balance. With holiday gatherings and commitments, it’s important to maintain a routine as much as possible, especially when little ones are involved. Prioritize sleep, healthy meals, and regular exercise to help regulate everyone’s mood and energy levels.

Set boundaries. It’s okay to say “no” sometimes. Overcommitting to events or responsibilities can lead to burnout. Establish boundaries to protect your time and mental well-being.

Take care of yourself. Make self-care a priority and engage in activities that will help you relax and reduce stress.

“Try participating in activities that will keep your mind active such as taking a walk, reading, and staying healthy and hydrated. It is important to be kind to yourself,” shared Janet Brus, program director for Senior Life Solutions at MRHC.

Connect and communicate. The holidays can be lonely for some people. Reach out to friends, family, or support groups if you are feeling lonely or vice versa, reach out to those who may be alone during the holidays. Talk to someone about your feelings and let others know they can do the same with you.

Manage finances. Buying presents, food, decorations, and more during the holidays can lead to financial stress. Create a budget and stick to it. Consider thoughtful gestures rather than expensive gifts.

Plan ahead for post-holiday recovery. If you find yourself feeling distressed and overwhelmed with sadness as the seasons change, it may be more than just the winter blues.

“Many of us have days that we don’t feel like ourselves and sometimes the winter months can enhance those feelings,” said Brus. “Be aware of how you are feeling. If you normally get up and perform your normal daily activities and instead find yourself staying in bed longer, not getting dressed, or avoiding activities that normally bring you pleasure, you may be experiencing seasonal affective disorder.” Anticipate the post-holiday blues by scheduling activities or self-care practices to look forward to once the festivities wind down.

For parents with children who will be home during winter break, keep these tips in mind to help their mental well-being.

  • Spend quality time with children.
  • Make sure they are not isolating in their bedrooms.
  • Be present – emotionally as well as physically.
  • Ask them how they are doing and take the time to listen.

“This time during the holidays is a great time to connect with your children and build a close relationship to let them know that you are a safe person they can talk to,” said Hollie Schechinger, LMSW, a designated mental health counselor at MRHC.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

Remember that it’s okay to seek help, take breaks, and prioritize self-care. If feelings of sadness, anxiety, or stress persist and interfere with your daily routine it is important to seek professional help. MRHC offers a variety of mental health support resources. If you or your child are struggling with depression or anxiety, contact your primary care provider for an evaluation. Counseling services are offered in Manning three days a week for individuals 12 and older. Call (712) 655-8100 to schedule an appointment.

For individuals who are 65 and older, MRHC offers group therapy through their Senior Life Solutions program for those suffering from anxiety and depression. Call (712) 655-8262 if you need support.

If the stress and pressure from the holidays have caused you or a loved one to turn to drugs and alcohol to cope, please call the Recovery Center at (712) 655-2300 for help.

If you or someone you know needs immediate assistance with mental health concerns, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255). You can also call 988 for 24/7, free and confidential support.